Why We Waited

At this point, Shannon and I are the only ones who know about this blog, and I don't think that Shannon has read the first blog yet? For those who are married, you know the pressure from friends, family, co-workers, and the worst, yet our moms (ri, ri, ri [that would be music from psycho]). I will talk about that pressure later on. Disclaimer: This is what we have decided, for those of you who have children 9 months after they ring the bells or those of you who wait maybe even decades, we are not judging you, this is just why we waited. Shannon and I have lots of friends who are many years older than us. Even when we dated we double dated with people over twice our age. If you know me, I am a questioner and a learner. I like to get many perspectives on things. When we talked to my aunts Tara and Paula (my mom's sisters, who are not far off from my age) they talked about waiting five years. So we took their advice.
They made what I believed was the greatest contention for waiting versus having them right away. They and their husbands talked about how waiting gave them a lot of time to bond and to become a great couple. They also talked about the benefits of moving away to become your own couple (Tara and Dave went to Pittsburgh, Paula and Dave [believe it or not I have an uncle Dave on my Dad's side too] moved to Colorado, and Shannon and I moved to Florida). I would have to say that moving away from home definitly strengthened our marriage. When times were tough emotionally, financially, spiritually, or physically we were the only people to rely on.
Some of our friends who had children right away would agree that having children right away is harder in the sense of not being able to get to know each other first. Not that any of them regret having their children, but they recognize how much easier it would have been to wait.
We definitly are close. Shannon is my best friend. We just ran a marathon together (finishing hand in hand), we like to hike together, watch shows together, go places together. I can't say that about all the couples we know. So whether you wait or not, that is your choice, but this was the basic reason we waited. Thanks for asking.

Death Row and Disney

Shannon (my wife) and I just finished a marathon last week. In the next day or two after that Shannon started talking about having children. Sometime mid week we decided that we would start trying to have a baby. Why we waited so long and why we chose now, I will talk about in another blog. But right now I want to expound upon the title of this session called "Death Row and Disney." This was a term I used the other day at the starting line of the marathon that seemed to get a few laughs. I told those I would be running with for almost half the race that that was how I felt before the marathon. When they asked me to explain, I said that my emotions were torn in two. On the one hand, it felt like when I was a child waiting to go to Disney. My siblings and I probably watched that going to Disney VHS tape a hundred times before we went. That's the same way I felt about the marathon. I had done so much planning, training, and preparing that it was exciting when we were at the start line getting ready to run. I had pictured the finish line a hundred times. On the other hand running the marathon felt like being on death row. One can only picture what those who walk the green mile go through. But this was one of the emotions I was having. I felt like I wanted to die. I felt like if I attempted to finish this marathon I was going to die. So the marathon was a mix of emotions between "Death Row and Disney."
That's how I feel about having a child. I am super excited. I can't wait to hold my own child. I can't wait to throw a ball with a son. I can't wait to sit and have a pretend tea party with a daughter. Now the death row. The death row isn't because of the child, it is because of me. I fear not being able to provide for a child. I fear not being able to be there when they need me. I fear the unknown of what I have never done. But God has always been gracious before to give me what I need to accomplish what He has asked me to do. So, when I think about it, I have nothing to fear, and Disney is only ahead of me.